


Just Go For It

by murkus



Category: I Love Yoo (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Courage, Dancing, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hat Theft, Romance, Teenagers, Welcome Home Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-02-16 17:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murkus/pseuds/murkus
Summary: Rika works up the courage to interact with Soushi. Shin-Ae doesn't know what she wants....Min-Hyuk's welcome home party, told from the perspective of a few different characters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I doodled a picture of Rika wearing Soushi's hat, because that's the exact sort of thing I did as a teenager with a crush on someone—steal their hat and wear it around. 
> 
> So then I started imagining the scenario that led to Rika taking Soushi's hat, and the plot bunnies kept multiplying, and I ended up with a story about Min-Hyuk's welcome home party. Here we go!
> 
> [[Warning: There are some mild curse words]]

Shin-ae clutched her cup of orange juice tightly. When is _Min-Hyuk going to get here?_ she thought. _It's his party after all_. The party was supposed to be a surprise, so Mrs. Park had taken Min-Hyuk out on a shopping trip on their way home from the airport, giving Maya and the rest of them plenty of time to set up the food and decorations. But the party had started an hour ago! Shin-ae had not been planning on staying too long. But she couldn't leave right when Min-Hyuk got there. He was her best friend after all, and she hadn't seen him in months.

After pacing aimlessly by the couch for a few more minutes, she decided to go get some food. She wasn't feeling super hungry, but at least it would give her something to do. She walked over to the long tables set up with trays of food. Maya and Rika were talking in a corner next to the far end.

She hesitated for a second, then set her glass of orange juice down on the table. She picked up a paper plate and started piling some food on it. She glanced back at her orange juice. _It should be safe there, right?_ But she kept her eyes on it as she filled her plate, and picked it up again before approaching Rika and Maya.

"I know, I'm pretty bummed that he couldn't make it," Rika said.

_Who can't make it?_ Shin-ae wondered. But she kept her thoughts to herself; she didn't want to butt in on Rika and Maya's conversation. She had talked with Maya a couple weeks ago, trying to fix things between them— _I mean, we kinda had to, living in the same house and all_ —but things were not exactly the same as they were before. It still felt a little awkward sometimes.

"But it's for the best," Rika continued. She turned towards Shin-ae and smiled. "Hey Shin-ae. How's the fried chicken? I told my dad to get the kind you liked." She picked up a plate.

"Iffsgoo," Shin-ae tried to reply, covering her mouth. She had just stuffed a piece of said chicken into her mouth.

"Shin-ae," said Maya, popping up between her and Rika. "What do you know about Soushi?" She had a familiar, mischievous grin on her face that made Shin-ae feel a little nervous.

"Uh, what?" Shin-ae swallowed her sweet crispy chicken too quickly, and she started coughing.

"Maya!" Rika chided her friend with a swat on her shoulder.

Shin-ae grabbed her cup of orange juice and took a big gulp. "Soushi?" she said, once her airway felt clear. "I dunno. He's got no volume control?"

Rika giggled. _Is she blushing?_

Maya rolled her eyes. "Let me rephrase: does he have a girlfriend?"

Shin-ae snorted into her cup. _Soushi with a girlfriend?_ She couldn't really picture it. "No, I don't think so. I'm sure he would have mentioned it. Probably a lot. And probably really loudly." She smirked and turned back to her plate.

Maya came around the other side of Shin-ae and grabbed a plate for herself. "He's so cute, don't you think?" she continued, as she loaded chicken and rice cakes onto her plate.

"OMG, Maya!" Shin-ae whirled on her friends. "Don't tell me you're trying to set me up with him now? I am NOT interested."

Maya laughed. "Not you, dummy. Rika!" She paused, turning to poke Rika's cheeks playfully. "She likes him," she said in a sing-song voice. Her eyes lit up in that way that only happened when she was trying to play matchmaker.

"Maya!" Rika said again. Her voice sounded like it had jumped an octave. No question about it, Rika was definitely blushing. "That was supposed to be a secret!" She grabbed Shin-ae's arm, her voice pleading. "Shin-ae, don't tell anyone, please?"

Shin-ae sighed. _When will Maya stop trying to meddle with people's love lives?_ "Of course. You know I wouldn't. I can keep a secret."

Maya's face darkened for a minute. Shin-ae looked down at her plate, pretending not to notice.

_Which they already know too well,_ Shin-ae thought. _I wonder if Maya is really okay with me right now. I hope she'll forgive me for keeping things from her._

Shin-ae spoke up, trying to break the moment of uncomfortable silence. "Speaking of Soushi, I'mma grab some more food." Shin-ae side-stepped around Maya and continued piling food onto plate. "I think all those boys are coming over soon. I wanna get some of your mom's fish cakes before they get here and eat them all."

"What?" Rika set her nearly empty plate down on the buffet table. There was a note of panic in her voice. "I thought he—I mean they—weren't coming?" Her eyes were wide like a rabbit.

Shin-ae piled the fried balls of fish on her plate. "Yeah, I invited Yeong-Gi and he convinced them all to come. Kousuke too." Shin-ae's stomach did a weird flip-flop and she paused. "I hope it's not too weird that he's here. Since he's my boss. He's your dad's boss too, right?" She popped a fishcake in her mouth, hoping that the fluttering in her stomach was just hunger.

Rika seemed not to hear the question. When Shin-ae turned towards her, she was bobbing on the balls of her feet and wringing her hands anxiously.

"Maya, help!" She tugged at the shorter girl's sweater. "If I had known he was coming, I would have worn something much cuter! Can I borrow one of your dresses?"

Just then, the doorbell rang. "Ah!" Rika practically jumped in the air. "What if that's them? Maya, hide me!" She swung around so she was behind Maya, crouching as though Maya was a human shield.

"Relax," Maya said, as she pried Rika's fingers off her shoulders. "You look super cute," she called over her shoulder as she walked over to the front door. Rika whirled around to Shin-ae. "What do you think?"

_Oh no_ , Shin-ae thought. _Clothes talk_. She looked at Rika's outfit: a loose and flowy purple-ish tank top and skinny jeans.

"Should I put the jacket back on? Maybe that's too bulky…" she continued debating with herself, but Shin-ae tuned it out.

"You look fine," she said.

"Just fine?"

_Oh crap_. "No, you look great." _What did Maya say?_ "Super cute." Rika smiled and Shin-ae relaxed. "He probably won't even notice anyway," she continued.

Rika's face fell. Shin-ae kicked herself mentally. "Oh no," she stammered. "I just mean your clothes. He'll definitely notice… you?" Shin-ae shuffled her feet awkwardly. _Aww crap. I'm terrible at this. This is why I try to avoid all this relationship stuff._  

Over Rika's shoulder, Shin-ae watched Maya open the front door and enthusiastically wave in the newcomers. It was the boys after all. Dieter and Soushi appeared first. As Dieter slipped off his shoes, he made eye contact with Shin-ae. He gave her a small wave, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"Thanks Shin-ae," Rika said. She took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. "Sorry to get you all wrapped up in this. I know it's not your thing. Boy drama."

Just then, the Hirahara brothers walked in. They both scanned the room as they removed their shoes, Yeong-gi's eyes sparkling with excitement and Kousuke's face set with his trademark frown.

"Heh. Yeah…" Shin-ae replied. She felt very hot all of a sudden, and she tugged at her collar, trying to fan some air onto her sweaty neck. Her stomach felt like it was filled with live frogs. _Ugh, what is going on with me?_

"Ya know, I think I need to use the bathroom," she said suddenly. "Can you watch this for me?" She shoved her plate and juice into Rika's hands and ran off before her friend could answer.


	2. Chapter 2

"Uh, sure," Rika said. She fumbled to balance the full plate Shin-ae stuffed into her hands, and when she looked up, Shin-ae had already run off. She turned around to see what had gotten Shin-ae so flustered—she rarely ran away from food.

Kousuke Hirahara was walking purposefully towards her, trailed by Yeong-Gi, Soushi, and Dieter. _Oh boy._ Maya was at the back of the group, and she flashed Rika a double thumbs up and a huge grin over the boys' shoulders.

"Excuse me, miss," Mr. Hirahara said, staring down at her with crystal blue eyes. He stood impossibly straight. "Wasn't Miss Yoo just here?" Rika struggled for words—the way his dark hair fell across his eyes made her feel lightheaded.

"Hi Rika!"

Yeong-gi's cheerful voice snapped her back into focus. "Hi Yeong-gi!" She replied with a smile.

Yeong-gi gasped excitedly. "Are those Shiba Inus?" he said, looking over Rika's head.

"Uhh…" Rika turned to look, but Yeong-gi was already darting across the room.

"Here I come, doggos! I'mma give you all the belly rubs. . ."

She turned back to the elder Hirahara brother and gave a small bow. "Nice to meet you Mr. Hirahara." She stood upright and shuffled the food to one hand so she could offer her other. "I'm Rika Lau, I'm the daughter of—"

"Yes, I know who you are," Kousuke waved a hand dismissively. He did not shake her proffered hand; he barely even looked at her.

_Okay. . ._ She tried not to flush with embarrassment as she transferred the plate and cup back to a steadier arrangement. "Shin-ae just went to freshen up in the bathroom. I'm sure she'll be right back.”

Thankfully Maya swooped in at that moment, acting the gracious host. "Why don't I show you around, Mr. Hirahara? I hear you're a fan of desserts? Let me show you the pastries my mother made for later. . ."

She ushered the Finance Director away. But that left Rika standing alone with Dieter… and Soushi.

Soushi leaned in towards his blonde friend and said in a deafening whisper, "Ouch! Did you see how Kousuke totally blew her off? 'I know who you are but I don't care.' That guy is ice cold!"

"Soushi!" Dieter chided. He looked nervously at Rika and back to Soushi, embarrassed by his friend's antics.

Rika couldn't help but smile a little bit. _Volume control. . ._

Dieter stepped towards her. "Don't worry," he said. "Kousuke's like that with everyone. Don't take it too hard."

"Thanks Dieter." She paused awkwardly, looking down at the plate of food in her hands, unsure of what to say. Should she keep talking about Mr. Hirahara's strange behavior? _No, that's weird._ What about the arcade?

_Ack!_ She felt so tongue-tied standing this close to Soushi. _Why is he so cute?!_ He was wearing his leather jacket over a navy and white striped shirt and rugged looking khakis that were a little bit fitted. _Mm, just the right amount of fitted._

_OMG, Rika, control yourself! Stop staring at his legs._ She flicked her gaze up to Soushi's face. He was wearing a dark red beanie that slouched perfectly at the back of his neck. There was just a sliver of his neck showing over the dark collar of his jacket. . .

_Face, Rika, face._

His eyes were scanning the room, taking everything in. But then he looked back at her. Their eyes locked and Rika's stomach flip-flopped. She felt like an ancient insect, slowly drowning in those dark amber pools.

_Gah!_ She dragged her eyes away, forcing herself to look at Dieter instead. Only then did she realize he was also looking at her, expectantly. "Sorry, what did you say?" She felt a blush creeping back to her cheeks.

"I asked about the food. Is it good?" Dieter repeated politely, and nodding at the full plate in Rika's hands.

"Oh, yes!" She whirled around to face the buffet tables, grateful for the excuse to look away from the two attractive boys. "Plates are right here," she said, gesturing to the stack at the end of the table, "feel free to help yourself. "Most of it is catered from XXCATERINGXX, but these over here were made by Mrs. Park. They're delicious."

The two boys trailed after her, loading up plates. "Do you want to eat with us?" Dieter asked. "Your food must be getting cold." He gestured to her full plate again.

"Oh, actually this is Shin-ae's," Rika said, looking down at the plate in her hands. "I should go find her and give it back to her." She paused again, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. _Just go for it!_ She looked straight at Soushi and tried to give him her cutest smile. "I hope you enjoy the party!”

Soushi looked up from his plate—he was already shoveling chicken into his mouth—with furrowed brows. "What? Oh, uh... Thanks?”

 

...

 

Thankfully Rika found Shin-ae pretty quickly, in the hallway that led to the bedrooms. She was talking with Kousuke. Maya was nowhere in sight. Rika didn't want to interrupt, or get caught up in another embarrassing conversation, so she just breezed by, passing off the plate of food and the cup of juice into Shin-ae's unexpecting arms before sliding into Maya's bedroom.

She shut the door and then belly-flopped onto the pink and blue comforter. Ugh. She rolled into her side, hugging Maya's pillow. "Just kill me now," she mumbled into the pillow. Then she pulled her phone from her back pocket and started texting Maya.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

After the girl with the long blue hair disappeared, Soushi turned to Dieter. "Did ya have to kick me so hard, mate?" His mouth was still half-full of chicken.

Dieter just shook his head, looking exasperated. He turned and headed for the couch, where Yeong-Gi was absorbed with the dogs. Soushi trailed after him.

_At least the food is good,_ Soushi thought. He had been hesitant about coming to this party, since he didn't even know the guy it was supposed to be for. But Yeong-Gi had convinced him, saying he had to support Dieter.

Dieter perched on the edge of the couch and began cutting up his food. Soushi swallowed his bite of chicken and flopped on the couch beside him.

"What's that chick's name again?" he asked. He grabbed another piece of chicken and nibbled on it lazily. "Hey, watch it!" he added, as the three dogs came over and started sniffing at the plates. W

hile Soushi scrambled to rescue his food from the curious dogs, Dieter sighed. "That was Rika, Shin-ae's friend. You've met her before. A few times actually."

_I knew she looked familiar. . ._ Soushi thought.

"Tch," Dieter scolded the dogs. "Sitz," he said firmly, holding his hand out flat. The dogs sat promptly at attention, tails wagging enthusiastically. "We had ramen together… She and Maya invited us to the party…"

"Right, right," Soushi said absently. _Damn, how did he do that with the dogs?_

"And she went to the arcade with us that one time." Dieter patted the closet dog on the head. "Good dog!"

_The arcade. . ._   Recognition clicked on like a light bulb in Soushi's brain. "Oh yeah!" he said. "I totally remember her now.” _Rika_ , he repeated to himself. _She was also at the hospital with the chick that tackled Kousuke. How could I forget her?_ He shook his head, smiling to himself at the memory.

He grabbed another piece of chicken and leaned back into the plush cushions on the sofa. He completely missed the look that Dieter shot over his head at Yeong-gi—a look that said, _Help me!_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

_**Ahhhhh help me!!!!! Sent at 7:39pm** _

_**Where are you? Sent at 7:42pm** _

_**I'm in your room. Sent at 7:43pm** _

Rika checked her phone again. 7:46pm. _What is taking Maya so long?_

As if on cue, the door clicked open. Rika sat up on the bed as Maya came into the room.

"What happened? What's going on?” Maya's brow was furrowed in concern.

"Omigod Maya, I just made a complete idiot of myself. I didn't know what to say, and I tried to smile at him and he looked at me like I was some sort of deranged ostrich or something!" She fell back on the bed and pulled the pillow back over her face to hide her shame.

Maya giggled. "Deranged ostrich?"

Rika sat up and pointed her finger menacingly at her friend's smirking face. "Don't you dare laugh at my pain," she said.

"Oh, come on," Maya said, still grinning. "It can't have been that bad."

"Oh, and he kind of laughed at how Kousuke ignored me." She sighed into the pillow. "At least Kousuke knows who I am though," she added sarcastically.

"Soushi definitely knows who you are," Maya said, scooching closer to her on the bed. "And even if he didn't, he will after tonight." She pulled the pillow out of Rika's arms. "Just look at you! You're one smokin'. Hot. Sexy. Mama!" She hauled Rika up off the bed, poking her emphatically with each word. "You just gotta get up, get out there, and show him what he's missing." She threw the pillow at Rika's head for good measure.

Rika swatted the pillow away and smiled. There was a reason she was best friends with Maya. She always knew how to cheer her up.

Just then, Maya's phone dinged. "Ah, it's my mom!" she said, checking the screen. "They are almost here!" She ran for the door. She paused, looking back at Rika. "Sorry, Rika. You good?"

"Yeah I'm good." Maya was right. She couldn't hide in here all night. She was hosting this party too. And she wasn't going to let her nerves over one silly, stupid, stupidly-cute boy ruin her night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward/Fluffy moments between Rika and Soushi at the party.

Once Min-Hyuk arrived, the party seemed to slip by too quickly. Rika was so busy flitting around, cleaning up discarded plates and cups, making small talk with the parents, and listening to Min-Hyuk crack jokes and tell stories about America, she barely had time to grab some food for herself. And she definitely didn't have time to sneak glances at the loud, hilarious boy with a scar on his chin as he joked in the corner with his friends.

Finally, there seemed to be a lull in the festivities. The house had emptied out a bit and Rika was perched on a stool in the kitchen, picking at some leftover salad and listening to Min-Hyuk share with a group of friends how he got to the surprise party.

"My mom got me from the airport, and I'm so dead, you know? Like, I've just spent over 14 hours on a plane, I just want to go home." He hung his head, slumped his shoulders, and dragged his fingers across his face for emphasis.

"But then my mom is like, 'Oh no! I forgot to pick up the chicken for your dinner!'" Min-Hyuk spoke in an over-the-top falsetto, pretending to bite his fingernails in anxiety. "'Let me just swing by the store and grab some on the way home.'"

Rika laughed along with the others. Min-Hyuk's impersonation of Mrs. Park was a little exaggerated, but spot on.

"I'm like, 'Mom, it's not a big deal. Let's just get it tomorrow,' and she's like, 'No, no! I wanted you to have a special welcome home dinner.'" He dropped the characters, talking in his regular voice. "I should have known something was up then, because seriously, when has she ever not over-planned for every little thing. Like, seriously, she practically threw a banquet for me when I got my driver's license."

Everyone laughed.

Just then, Maya sidled up next to Rika. "Hey, girl, can I get your help?"

"Sure, what's up?" she said. She threw her paper plate with last few pieces of wilted lettuce into the trash can.

"All the parents left ages ago and my mom finally went to bed!" Maya hopped from foot to foot, her hands clenched by her face, trying to contain her excitement. "Now we can finally get this party started!" She squealed with glee.

"Whoo!" Rika pumped her fists, matching her friend's enthusiasm.

"Can you go clear the coffee table and move it off to the side? I want to make a bigger space for dancing." Maya gestured over the kitchen island to the sofa in the corner of the living room. The sofa that was occupied by a trio of handsome boys and cute dogs. The trio she had been carefully avoiding all night.

"Of course," Rika answered, barely stuttering. Maya said something about music, but Rika barely heard her. Her heart was pounding too loudly in her chest She swished her hair over her shoulder. _You can do this. Be confident. Show him what he's missing. There's no need to be nervous._

But her stomach tumbled with butterflies anyway as she strode over to the coffee table. There were a few empty cups on the table, and the paper plates were filled with bones from the chicken wings. Rika started to stack the plates and cups so she could clear them away, but one of the plates had a few rice cakes left. The boys looked like they were done—they were all leaning back, petting the dogs and laughing about something. But Rika had spent enough time with Shin-ae to know you should never assume someone was done with their food.

"Are you guys all set?" she asked, a little too loudly. She reached for the last plate to offer the remaining food.

Rika's question might as well have been the starter pistol for a 100-meter dash: Yeong-Gi and Soushi both leapt forward, lunging for the last of the spicy snack.

"Dude, those are totally mine!" Yeong-Gi grabbed for Soushi's jacket to slow him down.

"Give it away, mate," Soushi said, pushing Yeong-Gi off. "You could have eaten them ages ago if you actually wanted them."

Somehow, despite the short distance, the two boys managed a substantial scuffle, but Yeong-Gi conceded when Soushi reached for the plate. "You got lucky," Yeong-Gi said grumpily, settling himself back into the couch.

"Whatever, mate," Soushi grinned. He grabbed a toothpick from the plate to spear the rice cakes and opened his mouth wide as he popped them in, flaunting his victory. "Delicious," he said boastfully.

"Umm…" Rika said. In the boys' mad dash for the food,  Soushi thought he had grabbed the plate off the table, securing his victory.

But Rika was already holding it. Soushi hadn't grabbed the plate at all. Instead, he was standing there, completely oblivious to the fact that his hand was wrapped around hers.

 

~~~~~~

 

"Can I have my hand back?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Er, what?" Soushi's head whipped around from Yeong-Gi's knowing smirk to Rika's bright red face. His eyes dropped to the plate.

 _Oh my god._ He was holding her hand!!

"Ah!" He yelped, snatching his hand away as though he had been burned. His jerky reaction caused the plate to fling away, sending spicy red sauce flying.

"Oh!" Rika flinched.

 _Oh $#!%._ Soushi didn't know what to do. He stared at Rika, his mouth slightly agape.

She was frozen in place. Her eyes were closed, her arm half-raised to block the flying sauce. Her face was freckled with tiny red splatters and a big splotch had landed on her shirt.

 _$#!%,_ he thought again. "I'msosorry," he said aloud, the words tumbling from his mouth in a loud rush. If this chick was anything like his three older sisters, he was about to get his ass handed to him. _Girls hate it when you ruin their clothes_. "Pleasedon'tkillme," he pleaded. He held his arms up and bent his face into his elbow to shield it from any incoming blows. When nothing happened immediately, he reached for some barely-used napkins on the table. "Here." He held them out to her cautiously, as a peace offering. "They're mostly clean."

Rika laughed awkwardly as she took the napkins. "It's okay," she said and wiped at her face. "Thank you."

 _What? Is she not gonna freak out?_ Soushi felt slightly bewildered. This was not the behavior he had come to expect living with three girls. He looked at the glob of sauce on her shirt again. _She probably didn't notice that I ruined her shirt. Maybe it's not too bad,_ he thought, squinting a little. _You can't see it from this angle. . ._

Suddenly he became acutely aware of the location of the sauce stain, nestled in the curves of her shirt. He laughed awkwardly and dropped his eyes down to the table, where they landed on the thrown plate, upside-down on the coffee table. He ran his hand over the back of his neck anxiously; the room felt surprisingly warm all of a sudden.

His stares seemed to make Rika aware of the splotch on her shirt, since her eyes dropped to her chest and she blotted the spot delicately with her wad of napkins. "That's not too bad," she muttered. "Well," she continued, looking up at the three boys. "If you guys are actually done with these now, I'll take them away."

Rika reached for the plates again, but Yeong-Gi jumped up from the couch and scooped them up from the coffee table.

"Here, I'll grab them for you," he said.

"Thanks, Yeong-Gi," she replied, and she headed back to the kitchen with the tall redhead.

 

***

 

As they entered the kitchen, Yeong-Gi deposited all the empty paper plates into the overflowing trash can and Rika walked over to the sink. She wet a paper towel under the faucet and dabbed it on her shirt. Luckily there wasn't that much sauce, and she was able to get it all off her shirt. _Phew, it doesn't look like it will stain. But now I have a big wet spot on my boob. Maybe Maya will lend me a new shirt now?_

Rika looked up, Yeong-Gi was leaning casually against the counter. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. He had genuine concern written on his face. "Sorry about that just now. Sometimes Soushi and I, well we, uh, we can get too riled up."

Rika smiled. "It's fine, really," she said. "I've had worse." Rika paused for a moment, then added, "You've had worse. Remember Shin-ae and her orange soda?"

Yeong-Gi laughed. "True," he said, running his fingers through his hair at the memory. "Well I just wanted to make sure you know Soushi didn't mean anything by it. He's just really awkward around girls."

Rika looked at the floor. She laughed, but it felt a little forced.

"He has three older sisters that are really. . . what's the best word for them?" Yeong-Gi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Opinionated? Rowdy? Frightening?"

This time, Rika's laugh was genuine. "Thanks, Yeong-Gi," she said. She looked out into the living room at the boy in question, and saw that Maya was standing there by the couch putting him and Dieter to work. They were lifting the heavy coffee table up and to the side of the room. Rika couldn't help but notice their arm muscles bulging under the sleeves of their t-shirts. She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt a little pang of jealousy watching her friend laugh with the two boys and thank them for moving the table. Maya was able to talk to them so easily. She was so confident and flirty. _Don't be silly,_ Rika chided herself. _She's acting totally normal. And you can too._

The lights dimmed.

"Alright, people!" Maya shouted. Now she was standing by the dimmer switches in the walkway between the kitchen and the living room. She scrolled through her phone and started a new playlist. Then she cranked the volume on the bluetooth speakers. "Let's get this party started!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @opportunemma for being my beta!

"C'mon everybody, move your butts to the dance floor!" Maya called across the apartment. Music started blasting from her bluetooth speaker positioned strategically on the coffee table. 

There was a small bottleneck at the threshold between rooms as people transitioned from one room to another all at once. Min-Hyuk led the charge to the living room, which was now the dance floor. Rika, in responsible mode as usual, skimmed around the kitchen, tidying up some abandoned plates and stacking plastic cups near the sink before joining Maya and Min-Hyuk in the living room. A big group of Min-Hyuk's friends had followed after him, some to join him on the dance floor, and some to say their goodbyes. 

Shin-ae watched a girl with fading ombre hair give Min-Hyuk a long hug before leashing up her three dogs and heading for the door. _Aww man, the dogs are leaving_ , Shin-ae thought. _And I didn't even get to play with them._ Her eyes flicked over to Kousuke, who was leaning against the fridge and occupied with his phone. Maybe if she hadn't spent so much time convincing him to try normal food, she would have had more time for puppies. Watching Kousuke eat the fish cakes had been hilarious though. And he actually liked them. 

She yawned hugely. _Maybe I should get going too,_ she thought. _I didn't intend to stay this long. . ._

She sidled around a few people and found herself next to Yeong-Gi. _Oops. I invited him to this party and I haven't talked to him all_ _night_! She plopped down onto a counter stool that was pushed up against the cabinets next to him. _I better at least say hi._

"Hey," she said. "How are you?" She covered another yawn with her hand.

"Hey," Yeong-Gi said. "Are you heading home? I barely even saw you." Somehow, his expression was simultaneously sad and hopeful, like a puppy waiting for a treat.

Shin-ae shifted in her seat, trying to disguise her guilty look. She couldn't leave now, not after that look. "No, no. Sorry, I just, uh. . ." _Should I say I've been busy talking with Kousuke?_ she wondered. _He was the one who told me to invite Kousuke in the first place. But they haven't spoken a word to each other the entire night. I don't want to get mixed up in more of their drama. . ._

Just then Soushi and Dieter appeared, after having wrestled their way through the scrum by the kitchen peninsula. 

"Shin-ae!" Soushi cried.

"Hey, Soushi," Shin-ae said. She did _not_ have the energy to match Soushi's never-ending enthusiasm, but she gave him a smile at least. After all, he did just save her from having to awkwardly explain herself to Yeong-Gi. 

Dieter gave her a small smile and a wave. "Hi, Shin-ae," he said. "Have you been enjoying the party?"

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be," she said. She leaned back against the cabinets and crossed her legs, her foot jiggling in time with the music. "What about you? Are you having fun? Sorry I haven't talked to you guys that much. I know you don't really know anyone else here."

"It's okay," Dieter said. "It's been fun." He glanced over at the group of people dancing, including Maya, Rika, and Min-Hyuk. "And it's getting even better now," he added. Shin-ae couldn't help but notice that the tips of his ears turned bright red after he said that.

Yeong-Gi had been debating with Soushi about some horror movie—something about the questionable choices of main characters—but he stopped abruptly in the middle of his conversation and turned to Shin-ae. 

"Are you going to go dance?" He asked, looking pointedly at her jiggling foot.

"Ha," she snorted. "No. I don't dance."

"I've seen you dance before," he countered.

 _That one time with Kousuke_ , she thought. _At the formal. . ._

She glanced at Kousuke again. He was still leaning against the fridge with his phone out, but she saw his eyes flicker between her and Yeong-Gi before dropping back to the screen. _I wonder what he's even still doing here_ ? _He hasn't talked to anyone for over an hour. He could just leave if he's not having fun._

"Yeah, if you count your mediocre performance in Dance Dance Revelation as dancing," Soushi snickered.

Shin-ae directed her attention back to the boys around her. "I would have kicked your ass," she shot back. "If I hadn't fainted." 

"Yeah, yeah. Excuses, excuses," Soushi said. The crooked smile and twinkle in his eyes told Shin-ae the jab wasn't malicious, so she decided to give it back just as hard. 

"I don't see you on the dance floor," Shin-ae said. "If you're so good, why don't you show off your skills?"

"I don't want to embarrass anyone," Soushi said with a slick smile. "The party is for that dude, right?" he jerked his head in the direction of Min-Hyuk, who was dancing with Maya and Rika, using fancy steps to twirl and dip them. "I can't go stealing his thunder." 

Shin-ae laughed along with the rest of them. She didn't feel quite so tired anymore. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Rika fanned her face. She was starting to feel a bit sweaty, after so much dancing, and her cheeks were hurting from laughing so much. Min-Hyuk grabbed her hands and twirled her under his arm, then grabbed her waist and sent her into a dip. Her stomach flip-flopped, almost out of habit. Yes, she used to have a crush on her best friend's brother. But it had been ages since she had thought about Min-Hyuk that way! If she thought about it, though, it made sense that these old feelings would resurface now—Min-Hyuk was actually paying attention to her, unlike the boy she really wanted to notice her.

 _Maybe I should sit the next one out_ , she thought, as the song ended. She could use a breather, and some physical space. But then the opening notes from the next song made that thought fly out of her head. "I love this song!" she said to Maya, throwing her arms up over her head. 

"I know! Me too!" 

Min-Hyuk shimmied around Rika and his sister. He glanced around the room, and then sashayed towards the kitchen. "We need more people on the dance floor!" he said. "I'm getting reinforcements."

Rika laughed. She grabbed Maya's hand and pulled her to follow her brother. They caught up to Min-Hyuk just as he approached Shin-ae. She was sitting on a stool, slouching against the cabinets. Yeong-Gi and Soushi were seated next to her, and Dieter was standing on her other side.

"Eyyy, Shin-ae," Min-Hyuk said, pointing at her. 

"Eyy, Min-Hyuk." She pointed back at him, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. She knew she wasn't going to like what he was about to ask her. 

"Come dance with us for a little bit!" he said, oblivious to her tone. 

"You know I don't dance," she said. She slouched down a little further, and Rika could tell she was uncomfortable with all the attention on her. 

Rika elbowed Maya as subtly as she could, and then turned to the boys. "C'mon guys! Dance with us!" 

"Yeah!" Maya said, catching on. "It's a party! You can't just sit here talking the whole time."

Yeong-Gi didn't answer; he was too distracted watching Min-Hyuk, who was now holding Shin-ae's hands and pretending to tango with her while she was still in her seat. But, to Rika's surprise, Dieter gave a barely audible, "Okay." He stepped away from the cabinets and stood between Rika and Maya, facing his friends

"Yes!" Maya crowed. Now it was her turn to subtly elbow Rika. 

 _Right,_ she thought to herself. _Just go for it!_ "Soushi?" she asked. 

"Nah, I'm good," he said, leaning back into his chair.

Rika froze like a porcelain doll, stiff and with a tight, painted smile. Her heart pounded in her chest. In that split second, her eyes flew over Soushi's frame: one foot propped casually on the bottom rung of the stool, his arms crossed over his chest, his dark lashes, the ends of his hair peeking out from under his hat. . .

"Okay, fine," she said. "But I'm taking your hat hostage. Consider it payment for my stained shirt." Quicker than lightning, she reached out and plucked the maroon hat from his head. 

"Hey!" he said, lunging for it. "Give that back!" He was off his stool now, reaching, but she stepped back, dodging him.

"If you want it, you can reclaim it on the dance floor." She jammed the hat on her head and hurried back into the living room, shocked at her own boldness. She was afraid to look back. 

Thankfully, Maya appeared beside her in an instant. "You go girl!" she said. Rika grinned back. She decided she would brave a glance back at Soushi, and when she looked she saw he was staring at her, mouth agape. She smiled at him as she adjusted the hat on her head, then turned her back on him and danced with her best friend like no one was watching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally get to that hat stealing! The idea that inspired this short (but getting longer and longer) story.


	5. Chapter 5

Soushi crossed his arms and turned to Yeong-Gi. "Can you believe this chick?" he said, gesturing over his shoulder. 

"Dude," Yeong-Gi said, barely containing his laughter. "Can't you tell Rika is flirting with you?"

The words hit Soushi harder than a punch to the face. "Whaat?!?" 

He whirled around to look at the two girls dancing in the other room. Rika turned and her eyes locked on his. The distance between them seemed to shrink to inches—he couldn't see anything but her. She adjusted his hat, tilting it so it rested on the back of her head. She smiled, and turned away, causing her long blue hair to swing across her back hypnotically. 

 Soushi settled back on his stool slowly, his mouth hanging open slightly in shock. He felt like he was just seeing Rika for the first time.

_ Rika is smo. King. Hot. Why didn't I notice before?  _

Then the suspicion started to make its way in. _ Could a girl like that actually be interested in me? _ The idea seemed too far-fetched. She was gorgeous and probably really popular.  _ Yeah, I bet she has tons of friends at school. There's no way. _ That was why he hadn't noticed her before: he had subconsciously dismissed the idea before it could even occur to him. 

"Dieter, I thought you were going to dance," Yeong-Gi called loudly, jolting Soushi out of his thoughts. 

"Oh, er. . . " Dieter mumbled, looking down at his clasped hands. He was standing awkwardly at the end of the kitchen peninsula. He hovered in the threshold between the living room and the kitchen in perfect symbolism of his torn desires: dance with the girls like he said he would; or support Soushi with this confounding new information.  

"Go for it," Yeong-Gi encouraged. "You should go dance too, Soushi," he continued, giving Soushi a light, playful punch in the shoulder. "Rika looks pretty cute, dancing over there." Soushi looked over again. Her hair swished across her shoulders as she shook her head back and forth. Her long purple tank top emphasized the gentle curve of her hips as she swayed and shimmied. And her smile—it lit up her whole face.

Yeong-Gi snapped his fingers in front of Soushi's face. "Hello, Earth to Soushi?"

"Huh?" Soushi said. He looked down, trying to fight the blush rising in his cheeks.

"Bro, just go over and tell her you think the hat looks good on her."

"What?!," Soushi said, an edge of panic creeping into his voice.  _ Is Yeong-Gi messing with me? _ he wondered.  _ He wouldn't. . .   _ But he just couldn't believe that a gorgeous girl like her would flirt with a guy like him—a guy people usually thought was a criminal or a gangster, not boyfriend material. He definitely couldn't just walk up to her and start hitting on her. That was a recipe that ended with him getting slapped. 

_ She even said. She took the hat as payback for spilling sauce all over her and her shirt. _

"No way, mate," Soushi said. He crossed his arms again and sat back down on his stool. But his eyes—and his thoughts—lingered on Rika.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Rika leaned in close to Maya's ear so she could hear her over the music. "I need a breather," she said. 

She proceeded to extract herself from the group of dancing teenagers. Once Dieter had joined, and Min-Hyuk had given up on Shin-Ae and recruited some of his other friends, they actually had gotten a decent number of people dancing with them. Their giddy excitement was contagious, it seemed. Plus, Maya's playlist was undeniable. 

But all those moving bodies in a small living room meant that Rika was feeling overheated. 

She made her way into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cabinet on instinct, before realizing maybe she should have been using the plastic party cups.  _ Oops, _ she thought.  _ But I can make sure it doesn't get broken. _ She scooped some ice cubes into it and filled it with water at the faucet. After a few desperate gulps, she leaned against the counter and pressed the cold glass against her sweaty forehead and neck.  

Her eyes roamed Maya's kitchen. Mrs. Park's calendar was pinned on the wall, detailing Maya's work schedule and her other commitments. There were notices about school and Maya's exam results pinned to the fridge.

Mr. Hirahara was also in the kitchen, leaning against the fridge. Rika kept her distance—she had no desire to be publicly humiliated by him twice in one night. Instead she watched him subtly over the rim of her glass as she sipped at her water.

He had his phone out, and it seemed like he was totally absorbed in it, but Rika could tell he was only feigning interest—he kept glancing up to look over at Shin-Ae, Soushi, and Yeong-Gi. 

She took another sip and turned to see what the three teenagers were doing.

_ Oh, so that's where all the plastic cups went. _ Shin-ae and the two boys were goofing off at the counter-top peninsula, competing with each other to see who could build the cups into a tower and then collapse then back into a stack the fastest.  

 

"Interference!" Soushi cried. "Shin-ae, you can't knock over his cups!"

"Says who?" Shin-ae retaliated by swatting one of Soushi's cups away. Rika smiled at her friend's brashness. "Besides, it doesn't matter. You're going to win regardless, this just means I won't be last."

"You're doing really well considering you've never done this before," Yeong-Gi said, picking up the fallen cups.

"Here's a trick," Soushi piled the cups into a pyramid again. "You can grab the last two cups much faster if you don't take your hand off. Like this, see?" He slapped all of Shin-ae's cups down into a stack almost instantly. 

_ Wow, he's fast _ . Rika couldn't help but be impressed. 

"What the hell, man?" Shin-ae complained. "How are you so fast?" Clearly she was also amazed. 

"I'm just good with my hands," Soushi grinned widely and cracked his knuckles for emphasis.

Rika laughed to herself, and turned to place her empty glass in the sink. When she looked up, she realized Soushi was staring intensely at her. Her stomach bottomed out for a second, and then he looked away quickly—and not at all subtly. 

_He looked kind of mad,_ Rika worried. _Did he think I was laughing_ at _him_? Then she remembered she was wearing his hat. _Oh right._ _Maybe he is actually mad about me taking it?_

She looked at him closely. Since he was now hatless, he had pulled his hair up into a small ponytail. She noticed the back of his neck, the curve of his ear . . . the curve of his lips, and the way his mouth moved when he was talking. 

_ Snap out of it! _ She better get back on the dance floor where she can't be distracted by all of his sex appeal. 

 

***

 

Rika decided she should try to slip out of the kitchen without drawing any more attention to herself. The counter that Shin-ae, Soushi, and Yeong-Gi were all sitting at bordered the kitchen and the living room, so if they hadn't been so preoccupied with the cups, she never could have managed it. 

Even so, when she tried to slide past, Yeong-Gi looked up from his cup tower instantly. "Hey, Rika." he said, grinning. "Can I get your opinion on something?"

"Uh, sure," she said. She tried to keep her face neutral, masking her surprise and confusion. _ Why does Yeong-Gi need  _ my  _ opinion? I don't know anything about this game. _ She wrapped her arms around herself tightly, and stepped over to the counter.

Yeong-Gi threw his arm around Soushi, pulling him in close and pinning him to his side. Cups scattered across the counter. It almost looked like Yeong-Gi was going to give Soushi a noogie. 

"What the hell, mate?"

"It's about my boy Soushi here," he said. Yeong-Gi's grin was so wide, his eyes were barely visible behind his cheeks. 

Rika felt like the air had left the room, but she smiled politely.

Yeong-Gi reached for Soushi's head, but he didn't grind his knuckles into Soushi's skull. Instead, he pulled Soushi's hair out of its ponytail. 

Soushi's walnut-colored hair swung down in front of his eyes as Yeong-Gi released him with a slight nudge forward into Rika's direction. 

"What do you think looks better, hair up or hair down?" Yeong-Gi asked, still smirking. "I keep telling him he should wear it down more but—"

"Dude!" Soushi barely made eye contact with Rika. He immediately turned back to Yeong-Gi and shoved him.

_ Yeong-Gi must be secretly built _ , Rika couldn't help but think. _ He barely budged off the stool _ . 

"What the #$&@ man!" Soushi raged. "Why is everybody messing with my $#!& at this party?" 

_ Oh crap _ . Rika pulled the maroon hat off her head.  _ What was Yeong-Gi thinking, pulling a move like that? Soushi has every right to be mad. _ She held the hat out to Soushi. 

"I'm sorry, Soushi." Her voice came out much quieter than she intended. "I shouldn't have taken your hat."  _ What was  _ I  _ even thinking, taking his hat from him like that? Ugh.  _  She felt her cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. Here she was, trying to be cute and flirty and she just ended up pissing him off. 

"And don't listen to Yeong-Gi," she continued, trying to make amends. "You can do whatever you want with your hair, you'd look good no matter what."

By the time the words left Rika's mouth and traveled to her own ears, she realized what she had actually said. Her eyes went wide. _ Omigod, did I just say that?! That's not what I meant! _

"I mean, umm. . ." She stumbled over her words. She felt like she was alone on a stage with every spotlight trained on her. Her face was burning, and every eye was on her. She kept babbling, trying to explain herself. Soushi was uncharacteristically quiet, his expression was blank and unreadable. 

She knew it must have only been seconds, but it felt like she was standing there for decades.  _ " _ What I mean is, I'm sorry," she finished lamely. Soushi still hadn't moved to take his hat, so she held it up again. "Here's your hat," she repeated.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"You look good no matter what. . ." 

The words rebounded inside Soushi's head. Did the most gorgeous girl in the entire place just tell  _ him  _ that  _ he _ looked good?

He stared blankly, trying to process what had just happened, but Yeong-Gi interrupted him by elbowing him in the side. Soushi looked up at his friend, who looked meaningfully across at Rika. 

_ What am I supposed to say to her?!  _ Soushi floundered. She was standing there, avoiding his eyes but talking to him—her mouth was moving at least—but Soushi couldn't process any more words at the moment. She stopped talking and held his hat out, her face slowly turning pinker and pinker. When she looked back up at him, nervously through her lashes, it made him feel weak at the knees.

"Oh, er. . . it's okay." Soushi was tripping over his words harder than a football player with his shoelaces tied together. "You can keep wearing it. If you want to, I guess. . ." He felt Yeong-Gi's elbow nudge him again. "You look cute. . . I mean, it looks really good on you," he stammered. 

"Oh!" Rika looked surprised. She looked down again for a second, as her face flushed even more. She dropped her hand that was holding out the hat, but she still looked uncertain. "Are you sure?"

Soushi  looked down and nodded . 

What was wrong with him?! He had never felt like this before, had never been at a loss for words. Except tonight, when he had been speechless more than once. And right now he felt so tongue-tied, he couldn't even utter one syllable.  He couldn't even look at her!

Rika pulled the hat back on, adjusting it over her ears and smiled. "Thanks," she said.  She turned to go. He looked up and saw her long hair streaming out from under his hat.  _ His _ hat.

"Just make sure to give it back later," he said, suddenly finding his voice. 

She turned back. "I will," she said with a smile.

_ Her eyes look so sparkly when she smiles like that. _ He would have to figure out how to make her smile at him that way again. 

 

 

Soushi watched Rika as she continued into the living room and made her way over to Maya and Dieter, navigating through a large group of people dancing. Dieter flashed Soushi a thumbs-up over the crowd. 

"Dude, I think you just got yourself a girlfriend!" Yeong-Gi said, ruffling Soushi's hair like he was a little kid.

"Shove off, mate!" Soushi pushed Yeong-Gi away. But he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, where did Shin-ae go?" Yeong-Gi asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Soushi turned around. Shin-ae wasn't sitting at the counter with them any more.  _ That's weird _ , he thought. "You think she left without saying goodbye?" He scanned the group of dancers quickly, then looked at the door. "There she is," he said, pointing to the entryway. 

Yeong-Gi looked over just in time to see Shin-ae tugging on her shoes and slipping out the front door, followed closely by Dieter. 

"Yeahhhh, Dieter! Getting some one-on-one time with Shin-ae!" Soushi crowed. 

"Yeah." But Yeong-Gi wasn't smiling. 

"You okay, mate?" 

Yeong-Gi ran his fingers over his face. When his face emerged from behind his hands, he was smiling. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just getting tired." 

Soushi frowned.  _ Why does he always do that?  _ he thought.  _ Whatever, mate. If you don't want to tell me your $#!@ that's your problem.  _

"It's about time, right?" Yeong-Gi said. 

"Huh?"

"Dieter and Shin-ae. . ."

Soushi punched the air with pride. "Yeah man, that's what I'm talking about. Go Dieter!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated to include the epilogue!

Shin-ae trailed after Rika as she made her way across the living room over to Maya and Dieter.  Dieter was looking beyond Rika and Shin-ae at Yeong-Gi and Soushi, who were still over by the kitchen counter. Dieter raised both hands up in the air and gave a double thumbs up. _He's such a good guy_ , Shin-ae thought. _He's supportive of his friends. Unlike me. . ._

Watching Rika and Soushi had made her feel something she hadn't felt before. A strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, and also a painful clenching over her heart. Rika had a crush on a boy, again. And it was obvious he liked her back, so Rika was going to have a boyfriend. Again. 

Normally it didn't bother her, when her friends had boyfriends. But this time, when Soushi told Rika she looked good in the hat, she didn't feel happy for her friend. She felt bad for herself. Because she had never had anything like that. 

Instantly, she had turned to the dance floor, looking for the only boy that had ever made her feel special like that. His blond hair made him easy to spot in the crowd. He was dancing with Maya, and that strange feeling had surged again in the pit of Shin-ae's stomach. In that moment, she had recognized the feeling . . . _Jealousy._ She had felt it after the amusement park too—before she knew it was only his sister hugging him. 

So that's why now she was braving the dance floor, forcing her way through the minefield of hot, sweaty bodies, to get to Dieter.

"Hey," she said, looking up at him. _Dang, he's tall. I always forget._

He had been looking across the living room at his friends, but he looked down at her when she stepped in front of him. "Hey," he said, a bit shyly. 

"Wanna go outside?" she said. "To talk." She was nervous, she realized. Her hands felt sweaty and her voice was so quiet, the sound barely escaped her lips.

"What?" he said. He bent a little, bringing his face closer to hers so he could hear her. "I can't hear you over the music."

"Talk? Outside?" she said, this time too loudly. He was so close she could see every one of his long blond eyelashes. "Oh, okay." He blushed a little bit. 

_Oh jeez, I hope he doesn't pass out_ , Shin-ae worried. But he seemed okay. He led the way through the group to the front door of the apartment and slipped his shoes on. As Shin-ae tied the laces of her boots, he shrugged his coat on. She pulled on her blue windbreaker, and followed him out the door. 

Dieter paused on the balcony at the top of the stairs, then walked over to the railing. He seemed a little stiff, like he was unsure of what to do with himself. He leaned against the railing, then stood back up again. His gaze was far away, looking out over the neighborhood streets. Shin-ae went to stand next to him. Her stomach had that frog feeling again, and the frogs went into jumping overdrive when Dieter turned to look down at her. 

"Anything specific you wanted to talk about?" He looked back down at the streets, bathed in yellow from the streetlights. A car hummed by; the red tail lights disappeared around the corner. 

"It's a nice night," he added. "Pretty clear. You can see a lot more stars than usual."

Shin-ae nodded, but didn't look up. She was too focused on the light reflecting in Dieter's eyes, and the pounding of her own heart.

She grit her teeth. _Yeong-Gi said I should be more open about what I'm going through, right? About my feelings?_ Shin-ae swallowed hard. _Dieter is definitely worth it though. He'll be nice about it, even if he doesn't—Augh, just go for it!_ She scolded herself. _You'll never know unless you say it!_

"I just. . . I have something I want to say," Shin-ae said. "We didn't really get a chance to talk earlier." She wrapped her arms around herself _,_ trying not to shiver. _It's a lot colder out than I thought_. 

"No," Dieter agreed, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the concrete. His big, hot hands were hidden in his pockets. Shin-ae felt a little disappointed, but she couldn't blame him for wanting to keep them warm. It was really cold out.  

_Something is off about him_ , Shin-ae realized. He was looking away more than he was looking at her. _Is he hiding something?_

But then he set his jaw, looked her square in the eye, and said, "I have something to tell you, too." His face was starting to turn pink again. 

_Oh no. What could it be? Does he want to stop being friends?_

"Me first," she said, trying to stay determined. "Please?" _If I don't get this out now I'm going to lose my nerve._ But her heart was pounding more than ever now. 

Dieter nodded once. "Wait just a second, though," he said. He proceeded to unzip his thick down jacket and he held it out for Shin-ae. Suddenly she became aware of how much she was shivering. 

"Thank you." She grabbed the jacket and slipped it on over her windbreaker. "But what about you? I didn't realize how cold it was." The jacket was several sizes too big, of course, so she tucked her hands inside the long sleeves and burrowed her chin into the collar. _It smells good_ , she thought with a content smile. _Like him_. 

"I'll be okay," Dieter shrugged. "My sweater is pretty warm." 

Shin-ae nodded. "So, I, uh. . ." She wasn't sure how to begin. The coat was distracting her. It was warm and cozy and smelled so nice, and she just wanted to stay bundled up in it forever. 

But that was the point, wasn't it? The past few months had been so horrible, and she needed something warm and comfortable to retreat into, to escape, to break the cycle.

 Dieter had been her breath of fresh air when she felt like she was drowning. Dieter had been there for her, calm and peaceful, like a lifeboat in the middle of a raging storm. He was the one that she kept thinking about, and he was the one that she wanted to spend more time with.

"I know I said no before but . . . That's because I just couldn't, I had to focus on my studies. But I flunked the exams, so that's pointless now. But also, I just didn't want to get involved with anyone." 

Dieter shifted uncomfortably. 

"I know I've said this to you before already. But there's more, I swear. I said no because people are all terrible. Or I used to think so anyway. But, you're not terrible. You're calm and sweet and supportive and kind and . . . I like that. You're good. And you make me feel. . . " Shin-ae took a deep breath. 

"You make me feel good. And calm. And happy. And I need more of that in my life. 

"What I'm trying to say is, I like you. And I accept your feelings."  She looked back up at him, and was surprised by his sad expression. "If you still have them, that is," she added, backtracking.  "If you got over me, I understand. That's totally fine. Forget I said anything. I'm sorry to bother you." She tried to back away and bumped into the corner of the banister. 

"Shin-ae" Dieter said softly. "You'll never be a bother to me, remember?" He took his hands out of his pockets and tucked them up in his armpits, hugging himself in a way that made Shin-ae wonder if it was for warmth or comfort. "Thank you for saying all that. And, no, I didn't get over you yet."

Her heart lifted. She smiled up at him. But the expression on his face made her falter. _But then why don't you look happier?_ she thought. 

She tried to keep her face neutral. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Earlier this month I took another set of college entrance exams. The SATs." 

_The SATs?_ Shin-ae thought. _Why does that sound so familiar?_ Aloud she said, "More exams? I thought you did well on the exams." 

"I did. I did well on both of them, thanks to you and your tutoring."

Shin-ae nodded, but was mentally distracted. She was racking her brain, trying to remember what the SATs were. 

"Yesterday, my acceptance letter for university came in the mail," Dieter continued. 

The realization hit Shin-ae like a frying pan to the face. _Min-Hyuk took the SATs too_. They were one of the entrance exams for universities in the United States. 

"What?" Shin-ae said, but the word got stuck in her throat, so it came out more like a hoarse croak. _No, not again_! 

"I applied early admission." Dieter looked positively miserable at this point. "I thought, why not? I don't have anything holding me here."

"Dieter, that's . . . " Shin-ae swallowed hard, smothering her emotions. _Be strong. Be supportive_ . "Congratulations. Where are you going?"

"Annapolis. The Naval Academy there." 

"You're joining the US military?" Shin-ae's jaw dropped. She felt like she was on the spinning teacups again—there were so many thoughts swirling around her head, she was getting dizzy. She could barely even think all of her questions correctly, so it surprised her when one randomly popped out of its own accord. "But I thought you said you didn't like moving around?"

"I only have to serve for 5 years. And there's no tuition costs. With everything my family had to deal with, for my grandma. . ." Dieter looked down. 

"Yeah." Shin-ae didn't know what else to say. _How can I be upset about that? He's already been through so much, with his grandma. He has to do what's best for him._ After a moment of silence, she joked,  "Hey, no tuition? Sign me up too."

Dieter gave her a small smile. 

"No, but seriously, that makes a lot of sense," she continued. "That's really great. . ." She tried to sound enthusiastic, but she couldn't keep it going, so she just trailed off. 

_Dieter is leaving. For America._ The weight of it hit her like a truck. _Of course,_ she thought. _This shouldn't be a surprise, really._ Her heart was a lead weight, sinking into the pit of her stomach. She felt the pinprickles of tears forming in her eyes, and she fought to blink them away. _Everyone I care about leaves me._

"When do you leave?" She hoped her face was neutral.

"Not until the end of the summer," he said. He uncrossed his arms and stepped forward. The tiniest step, but still. "I'll still need to graduate with everyone. With you." He almost looked like he was going to reach out and hold her hands, but then he lost his nerve. Instead he just started fidgeting with a hangnail.

Shin-ae bit her lip, thinking. Trying to hold her emotions in. _Stay strong,_ she told herself again. _That's what Papa would say_ . But then she thought of Yeong-Gi again. _It's okay to let it out._  

A wave of resolve crashed over her, dissolving all of her uncertainty and self-pity.

_No,_ she thought. _I'm not letting go of someone else I care about. Not this time. Not without a fight._

Shin-ae looked at Dieter, at his baby blue eyes and his hot hands, the uncertain wrinkle in his brow and his soft-looking lips, and made her decision. She reached for his hands, pulled herself up, and pressed her lips against his. 

They were as soft as they looked, and warm, and. . .

Dieter broke the kiss short, leaning back a fraction of an inch. _Ah, crap. Did I overstep?_ Shin-ae dropped down from her tiptoes. _He said he wasn't over me, but…_ But Dieter didn't pull away. He still gripped Shin-ae's hands tightly. His face was bright red, but thankfully he was still conscious. 

His brow was furrowed in the cutest way. "Are you sure?" He breathed. "I mean—"

Shin-ae cut him off. "Yes." _Maybe it's just for a short time_ , she thought. _But I deserve whatever happiness I can find. And so does Dieter._  

"We have until the end of the summer, right?" She continued. "And maybe more. Who knows—"

This time it was Dieter's turn to cut her off. He leaned down to kiss her. One hand snaked up to hold the back of her neck, and now Shin-ae was feeling light headed and dizzy for a whole other reason entirely. 

 

**Epilogue**


End file.
